I GOTTA FIND A WOMAN WITH A CHAINSAW
(Peter Krug)

I woke up this mornin' frozen nearly dead,
Was so damn cold I couldn't get out of bed.
As I lay there shiverin' as cold as can be.
Suddenly this revelation occurred to me.

CHORUS:
I gotta find a woman with a chainsaw,
To spend the winter with me.
If I could find a woman with a chainsaw,
Than all night long I would stoke her fire, yes indeed.

I put an ad down at the Co-op, a notice on the stump,
I don't care if she's skinny, I don't care if she's plump,
I don't care if she's pretty or ugly as sin,
If she's got a chainsaw she can move right in.

Oh, you big city women in your Calvin Klein clothes,
Ain't much good when the ground gets froze.
I need a tough country mama, to help me chop my wood,
And when I find her, I'm gonna treat her good.

I 'd treat her sweet and gentle and we would never fight,
If she went out with someone else I wouldn't get uptight.
She can just do her thing, and I can do just mine,
And she and me and that machine we'd get along just fine.

I've got a cabin in the mountain, a Chevy pickup truck,
With half a ton of Mendocino thunder f**k,
I've got a bushel of soy beans, a whole barrel of brown rice,
And a couple cords of firewood would make it all so very nice.


If you need to know the songwriter, it will take a while to dig that information up.

Roger in Baltimore (who hates rules, who will now be late for work, and who thinks all that Joe had to do was ask)

Line Breaks <br> added. But Roger, it was fun to needle you a bit….
Thanks for the song.
-Joe Offer-