I keep getting calls from The Dating Game. I don't know who spilled the beans that I'm the most socially-unpracticed, hopelessly-single, twentysomething in the United States but I do NOT want to be called by The Dating Game. We've got a new roof. We've got new gutters. We don't need our carpets cleaned (OK, we do, but they're old and we have a dog, so there's no point). I don't even have any clothes to give to charity--I don't buy that many clothes to begin with and I was raised to wear them until they're only good for rags.

If anyone out there needs a dead-end job that doesn't pay all that well, my office is taking applications for receptionists.