Seems to me that you were given a straightforward and honest answer, with fair warning about how much time was available. There seems to be rather more being read into this that I can see justified. Paraphrasing to change the meaning is saying more about chips on shoulder than the actual club policy.

But if it was a fair paraphrasing, then you're better off without the club anyway. Why didn't you send your details and give them a chance the following week? Without that then it could indeed be "your loss" - though that could have been more tactfully phrased!

The trade-off between regulars and visitors could perhaps be dealt with in a separate thread, as I think it could raise several valuable points, but in the end a private club exists for the benefit of its members. The members who go along to listen might like the sound of someone new, but the performing regulars no doubt value their opportunity to play. An organiser who offends his regular performers will soon find him/herself without a club.