The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #1000393
Posted By: Rapparee
11-Aug-03 - 03:16 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
I wondered the same thing and explored it. Here's what I found:

It's a plot. It's a plot directed against our currency. The Council of Seven, in league with Moloch, the Giant Squid, Little Hawk, and the Sons of the Pioneers met some years ago in the White House Rose Garden and determined that gasoline prices in the US would reflect an additional nine-tenths of a cent over then actual cost. This nine-tenths of a cent is skimmed off and used to purchase Certain Glands from people in Third World Countries; these glands are used to keep the Cogniscentii young and sexually active. Woody Allen, for instance, is really 117.

But I digress. By implanting these glands and using their secretions, the Cogniscentii (who are all related and which family dates back to before the Dark Ages) intend to ally themselves with Martians who will be invading on August 24th. The nine-tenths of a cent will be used to bribe underpaid US Marines, who will then direct their fire into the mob outside of the Hermitage before the Cossacks ride the people down.

The nine-tenths of a cent been divided, too, and one-tenth of the nine-tenths is stored in old thorium mines under the federal prison at Lake Watahachee. This is in gold, so it's not only too heavy to steal, it's also radioactive (from the thorium).

Everything should now be clear. If it's not, it's all clearly explained here.