I have created a maritime parody of the Frozen Logger for your delectation:

THE STEADFAST SAILOR

Lyrics: Eric Russell
August 10, 2003
Melody: The Frozen Logger

1) As I sat down one evening
Inside a small cafẻ,
A forty year old waitress
To me these words did say:

2)"I see you are a sailor
And not just a common bum;
"Cause nobody but a sailor
Adds coffee to his rum.

3) "My lover was a sailor,
There's none like him today—
If you'd pour rum upon it
He'd eat the main backstay.

4) He never shaved the whiskers
From off of his horny hide—
He'd comb them out with gill rakers
And display them with pride.

5) "He never trimmed the nails
From the ends of his calloused thumbs—
He used them both for marling spikes,
Also to stir his rum.

6) "My lover came to see me
On a cold and stormy day;
He greeted me with a fond embrace
That broke three vertebrae.

7) "He kissed me as he left me
So hard it cracked my chin;
I could not speak to tell him
He'd left behind his oilskins.

8) "I saw my lover leaving,
Going bravely out to sea;
He sailed out before the wind
And gave no thought to me.

9) "The North wind tried to wreck him;
The seas ran tow'ring foam;
And when his topsails did blow out,
He never ran for home.

10) It pick'd him off the poopdeck
It carried him o'er the boom;
And as the wind kept rising,
It blew him past the moon.

11) "And so I lost my lover--
To this cafẻ I come
And here I wait for someone
Who drinks his coffee in his rum."


I hope you enjoy it.