Our "Folksongs for Dummies" had many of these. However, a few more:

1. When someone asks about my lover far far away, and bears even the slightest resemblance to said lover, I will (a) check; (b) if there is the least suspicion that inquirer might be said lover, but before he/she gets a chance to reveal identity, I will lecture inquirer on the nature of bastard slime who taunt those who were left behind pining, and suggest that bastard slime deserve to be retroactively drowned at sea.

2. If I am in arms of best friend's wife, and am brought up before judge, I will inquire as to whereabouts of best friend during relevant time period.

3. If girlfriend is named Frankie, I will fix that loose transom, and also ensure with cash that bartender is onside.

4. I will never go on a ship where the rich refuse to 'sociate with the poor.

5. Going gaily in the saddle is a bad idea.