These are a crackup!!!

1. I will limit my response to gamblers' insults about my fiancee's picture to verbal remarks and will leave the table intead of getting violent.

2. I will manage my anger.

3. If a rival talks to my loved one down in a valley, I will ask her about it later. I will recognize that emotional and physical extremes will not restore lost friendships.

4. I will learn how to recognize the sort of person one cannot count on.

5. I will not come in to anyone's saloon while the games are going on.

6. I will leave those downtown women alone.

7. I will not go down to the bottom and never come up even if the river turns out to be whiskey. I will realize I am NOT a duck.

8. I will not lead a squad of pikes and scythes against a fully equipped division of the British Army.

9. If I am riding on the prairie and am accosted by three armed troopers, I will not choose to fight rather than surrender, realizing that even with a twenty year sentence I will be out in five on good behavior.

10. I will not get a .38 from a pawnshop no matter what my girlfriend says she wants.



A