I will drink as much Johnny Jump Up as I like, even if I do reach 100 or 110, which, given the properties of JJU is highly unlikely.

I will not take girls called Maggie into the wood for any purpose.

I will buy a boat and a canoe before contemplating marriage.

I will not restrict my dancing to one particular religious holiday - I'll dance when and where I damned well please!

I will not let my love go walking through the dark fair on her own.

I will subject any prospective marriage partner to an extensive body search for the 'folorum dingdorum' and associated 'courage'.

I will confine my daily excercise to some star jumps and some press ups, indoors, during May.

If I do venture out in May, I will avoid all areas dedicated to agricultural pursuits, specifically, meadows of flowers, haymounds, newly or partially ploughed fields or anywhere that nightingales might nest.

If walking for excercise I will take with me powder, shot, spare ramrod and a book on the habits of native mammalian fauna.

I will ignore everything that lying bastard William tells me.

Similarly, I will not do everything my elder sister tells me to do.

Breastbones make lousy harps.

LTS