I will not attempt to entice impressionable young Northumbrian ladies to release me from my prison.

Neither will I pledge to marry a Turkish girl, even after seven years have passed.

If I hear the pipes calling, I'll just phone the plumber.

Were I to witness a woman being stabbed, I would go to her aid.

If my brother went to Japan, I'd let him go alone.

Were I the servant in a Somerset household and fancied the master's daughter, I'd make sure that her brothers didn't get to hear of it.

Alan