Bert evil? Ernie evil? No problem. I can accept the possibility of any Muppet being evil, especially Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear and the Swedish Chef. Everyone's always known that Muppets have the potential for evil because Jim Henson and Frank Oz were, after all, a couple of freaks who found a profitable niche for their weirdness. Where eccentricity lies, the seed for evil cannot be far away. Just ask Dr. Faustus.

But Care Bears are a different matter all together. They exude a special malevolence. They personify BLAND and BLAND is the worst kind of evil. There is no eccentricity where Care Bears are concerned. There is only DULL. Care Bears rot away the minds of young children in the same inevitable creeping fashion that Bazooka Joe and Coca-Cola rot their teeth.    Care Bears are the Valium of evil! There has never been any question of a Care Bear selling his soul to the Devil because Care Bears have no souls to begin with! They are the kiddie culture equivalent of The Walking Dead!