Ummm, I took the word "bent" rather literally and have penned a pink version of the Wild Rover, which I will call The Wild Homo...

I've been a wild homo for many a year
And I've spent all my money on s & m gear
But now I'm returning with Christian Dior
And I never will play the wild homo no more

      And it's no, nay never
      (right up your kilt)
      No nay never no more
      Will I plaaaay the wild homo
      No never no more

I went into an ailhouse I used to frequent
And I told the landlady her husband was bent
I asked for his number she answered me nay
This is my public house and he's not f***ing gay

And then from my pocket I took sovreigns bright
And the landlady's eyes opended wide with delight
She said as for my husband he's gone to the gym
But wile you're waiting there's always the stable boy Tim

And now I'll return to my Dad and my Mum
And I'll ask them to pardon their prodigal son
And if they'll embrace me as oft times before
I'll bake them a quiche that they'll truly adore

What do you think?

Al