I agree; these situations can be enormously complex, and different people are capable of dealing with a variety of scenarios. Human emotions don't give a damn about external symbols like wedding rings, or even intellectual concepts like logic & reason; the fact that your friend never gave any outward sign, or made any overt move towards you, shows that her intentions were never "dishonourable", whatever her internal feelings may have been.

That says a lot about her character, as there are plenty of people who'd have behaved differently in the same position. My take on it is that she honestly valued your friendship enough to make a serious effort to cope with what must have been a terribly painful situation (ie, hanging out with you & your partner with no hope of her love being reciprocated---OUCH), and when she found she couldn't deal with it any longer, she rather nobly absented herself.

So--I concur with the post above that any conciliatory moves need to be on her part, and that unless the subject is raised by her directly it should never be referred to. With any luck she's moved on & past her former feelings, but even if she hasn't, it's important to remember that the human heart is a funny little muscle; it's pointless to attempt to analyse another person's feelings, because at the end of the day our internal lives are a foreign country to even those with whom we are most intimate friends.

BTW, I'm curious: did you share this info with your wife, and if so, what was her feeling about the matter?

D.