Well, I don't know about biological theories or animal courtship theories, and I teach ecology for a living. Human beings are different: they can talk themselves into new worlds. One of the things revealed by this thread is that many people operate by Kantian rules -- treating other people not as means to your ends, but as ends in themselves. And people (here) wrestle with ethical dilemmas that have nothing to do with animal sociology or genetics except at the vaguest level (sociobiologists would disagree, but they are spreading their theory in order to promote their own fitness). Even the narcissism accusation is flawed -- I think it is the case that sometimes if you love someone you want what is best for them, and you decide that it isn't you.

yours,

Peter T.