MEMO
TO:       Mssrs. Fielding, Patterson and Swan
From:    Mick Lane
SUBJECT: Layabout wannabees

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Brothers, as you can see, we have many wannabe layabouts seeking to join our ranks. The trouble is that they are expending so feckin' much energy tryin' that they are disqualifying themselves just trying. And they are impinging on our layin about because we have to take time to read this aul pile of shite. Training is obviously needed. I would suggest that we form an organization called "The Layabout Scouts" modelled very loosely on the Cub Scouts. One of the main differences is that no attention would be payed to gender, sexual preference, age, or style of music preferred. In fact, we would be so busy layin' about that we wouldn't pay attention to anything. One similarity would be that we would have to have Den Parents/second mommy/second daddy/backup singers to take care of all the actual training based on their observations of us, as that would constitute work which we don't do. Perhaps the formidable group of Mary Lou, Heather, Karen and the right honourable p.j. could take on the task? Hell, they do all the work in our respective households as it is.

Maybe we could come up with cutesy little outfits for them, eh?

What say you all?

Mick Lane
Founding Partner
Lane, Fielding, Patterson, and Swan
Layabouts at Large and for hire
It's the least we can do........