SHAVING CREAM
As recorded by Paul Wynn, 1946.

I have a sad story to tell you.
It may hurt your feelings a bit.
Last night when I walked into my bathroom,
I stepped in a big pile of—

CHORUS: Shaving cream! Be nice and clean.
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

I think I'll break off with my girlfriend.
Her antics are queer, I'll admit.
Each time I say, "Darling, I love you,"
She tells me that I'm full of—[CHORUS]

Our baby fell out of the window.
You'd think that her head would be split,
But good luck was with her that morning.
She fell in a barrel of—[CHORUS]

An old lady died in a bathtub.
She died from a terrible fit.
In order to fulfill her wishes,
She was buried in six feet of—[CHORUS]

When I was in France with the army,
One day I looked into my kit.
I thought I would find me a sandwich,
But the darn thing was loaded with—[CHORUS]

And now, folks, my story is ended.
I think it is time I should quit.
If any of you feel offended,
Stick your head in a barrel of—[CHORUS]