Leslie Sarony was a British music hall performer from (IIRC) approx 1880s to 1930s (the version I have was recorded 2 April 1932)


AIN'T IT GRAND TO BE BLOOMIN' WELL DEAD!

Lately there's nothing but trouble, grief and strife.
There's not much attraction about this bloomin' life.
Last night I dreamt I was bloomin' well dead.
As I went to the funeral, I bloomin' well said:

Look at the flowers, bloomin' great orchids.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at the corfin, bloomin' great 'andles.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
I felt so 'appy to think that I'd popped off,
I said to a bloke with a nasty, 'acking cough:
Look at the black 'earse, bloomin' great 'orses.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!

Look at the bearers, all in their frock coats.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at their top 'ats, polished with Guinness.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
Some people there were praying for me soul.
I said, 'It's the first time I've been off the dole.'
Look at the mourners, bloomin' well sozzled.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!

Look at the children, bloomin' excited.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at the neighbours, bloomin' delighted.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
Spend the insurance on merriment, for alack,
You know I shan't be with you going back.
Look at the Missus, bloomin' well laughing.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!

Look at me sister, bloomin new 'at on.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
Look at me brother, bloomin' cigar on.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!
We come from clay and we all go back they say.
Don't aim a brick. It may be your Auntie May
Look at me grandma, bloomin' old haybag.
Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!


When I sing it, in V1 I usually have the coffin before the flowers, and I prefer to sing V4 before V3, finishing with the wife laughing, but that's just my personal preference.