I know a lady dressed in red
Makes her living lying on a bed
She's a mattress tester.
She's a mattress tester and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady dressed in white
Makes her living working at night
She's a night nurse.
She's a night nurse and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady wears no gown
Makes her living riding up and down
She's an elevator operator.
She's an elevator operator and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady goes so far -
Makes her living lying in a car
She's an auto mechanic
She's an auto mechanic and I love that girl of mine.

I know a lady dressed in black
Makes her living lying on her back
She's a whore!


Learnt this (would you believe?) at a Boy Scouts of America Summer Camp at Lake Arrowhead, California in 1978. I've imperfectly remembered some of it but you get the gist, no doubt!

Steve