Probably the MOST frequently heard saying in my family was, "Why is (the) _______________ (dirty, muddy, bleeding, crying, all wet, up on the roof, buried in the backyard, staked to an anthill -- or just fill in the blank with whatever you can imagine)?"

Sometimes this was followed by a telephone call that began, "Mom, don't worry now, but I'm over at the Emergency Room and...."

Or my favorite phone call: "Hi, mom. Listen, I can't talk long but I'm going to be home late. Do me a favor, and if the police ask where I've been tell them we went to the drag races, okay? Thanks, bye."