Ah yes there are many of my mother's favourites here.

Please imagine a glaswegian accent when reading the following......

"Don't care was made to care"
"I want doesn't get"
"It's far off your backside, you won't sit on it" ( referring to minor injuries. I was never in the room when any one had a sore bum so I don't know what happened then......)
"Mocking's catching" (in answer to your declaring one had a sore throat and couln't go to school sort of thing)
"Get a grip of your knickers" ( pull yourself together )
"I could eat the snibs off the windows" ( I'm dreadfully hungry )
When complaing you had to go out and it was raining "Ach you're neither sugar nor salt you won't melt"
"Between you me and the wallpaper"
"If you do that one more time I'll batter yer melt in"
"Little jugs have big ears" (Meaning you weren't to say certain things as very young children were present)
"If you point that finger at me again I'll bite it off"

I could go on and on and on....

TTFN Lady P.