And now the parody (transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 29):

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW (parody)
(Homer & Jethro)

How many guys have held you all
And kissed your lips to boot?
How many if any I wonder
But I really don't give a hoot.

I go for your caresses.
I go for your embrace.
I go for you so much, my darling,
That I call you Old Gopher Face.

When I look in your eyeballs,
You make my poor knees knock,
For you made time stand still, dear.
Your face would stop a clock.

You look like a million dollars--
All wrinkled and green, but cute.
I wonder what they found you under,
But I really don't give a hoot.

Since you had your face lifted,
Things have shifted, I suppose.
The wart that was on your knee, dear,
Is now on the end of your nose.

So let it remain your secret,
But, darling, I've got to scoot.
I wonder what I'll do without you,
But I really don't give a hoot.