In a pride of your peers:

Went over like a fart in church (and) Sweating like a whore in church (both from my ulcle, who had a filty mouth.)

If you can't fix it, duck it, if you can't duck it, f*** it! (A reference to a certain repair product on the market)

Man, you really shit the bed!(referring to a massive screw-up, also "My (posession that went to pot) shit the bed on me."

(he, she,) would F*** up a wet dream.

Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't istening! (hold the hand up in front of whomever is speaking.)

You weren't working (sick, doing homework, chores, etc.), you were out playing lobo! (Lobo was a ballgame indiginous to our neighborhood-by and by "playing lobo" came to mean anything where you weren't up to anything productive.)

Itching like a three-dollar whore.

go like a raped ape

Where's (Here come) Johnny (John) Law?(!) Emphesize the "John": JOHN-knee-law. )Local term for any cop or crossing guard or teacher on playground duty. Have No idea where it came from but it was in use from the time I began kindergarten to the time I was in 7th grade.)



Words to the wise-the Elders dispense knowledge:

Now, if (name) went and jumped off a bridge would you go do it too?

I don't care what (name) does! S/he don't live here!

Eat it! There's starving little babies on the south side!

I didn't fall off (or: Do I LOOK like I fell off) the turnip truck yesterday!(?)

Stop it, and I mean NOW, or maybe you WANT a spanking...

(Tell them to do the offending act), and SEE what happens!

You only do (did) THAT once! (after some dangerous, painful, or otherwise ignorant doing)

Acted like a couple of Hahnyacks, you did!

Onray (or: rotten) little Scut!

You didn't need my help getting IN jail, you don't need my help getting OUT!

Eating before bed feeds hay to the nightmare! (I once heard my grey haired daddy say: A picture of him would keep a nightmare in hay all week!)


Taken as it's worth.

Chaz