Looks like we never did get back to the source of this song. Here's a transcription that incorporates the verse Leadfingers posted, and the other parts sometimes make more sense than what we have in the DT. Can we find the original somewhere? Can we get a good transcription of the tune?
-Joe Offer-

---

A PROPER CUP OF COFFEE
(R.P Weston & Bert Lee)
(as recorded by Trout Fishing In America)

Verse 1
A Sultan sat on his oriental mat, in his harem in downtown Persia,
He took a sip of coffee, just a drip, and he said to his servant Kersia,
"Ah, curse ya, curse ya, curse ya, That's the worst cup of coffee in Persia!"

Chorus
"`Cause...
All I want is a proper cup of coffee, made in a proper copper coffee pot,
I may be off my dot, but I want a proper coffee in a proper copper pot.
Iron coffee pots and tin coffee pots, they are no use to me!
If I can't have a proper cup of coffee in a proper copper coffee pot, I'll have a cup of tea!"

Verse 2
In days of old when knights and men were bold, and whiskey was much cheaper,
Burt Turpin rode to a coffee shop and showed his pistols to the keeper,
He said "Stand and deliver! Can't you see that I'm all a'quiver?"
[Repeat Chorus]

Verse 3
When Bonaparte found that he was in the cart and he lost that Waterloo fight,
He gave his sword to Wellington, my Lord, and he said "Those British can't half fight,
Now you've had your Waterloo, sir, tell me what am I having with you, sir?"
[Repeat Chorus]

Verse 4
Now King Solomon and his queen would carry on, so we heard in the ancient scandals,
He bought her lots of silver coffee pots with diamond legs and handles,
And said the Queen of Sheba, "I'd rather have any old tea-bag..."
[Repeat Chorus 3 Times]


Taken from Lyrics Playground