I think you all know my history well enough and I've stayed away from this thread as well. But no one has said it exactly so I'll say it.......try FEAR!!!

Fear that you are "not the man you once were" more than anuthing else. Sure there is fear of death and all of that, but far more to the point is that something going wrong with your body shows you are mortal, WEAK (a no-no), getting old, etc. This is the same fear that causes a lot of false recovery talk as well.

Just an opinion......

Spaw