Dear Silly Santa,

Th' pitcher of Shrub an' Cheney wud mek a fine Chrismus prezent. It wud mek a reel gud targit an' tho I don' hunt mahself, I do lack t' mek sum shootin' noizes ever now an' then jus' t' remind th' naybors thet we's back here in theeze woods an' thet thay shud keep thayr own shootin' arns pointed in th' uther direckshun. Thay'z sumthin' 'bout heerin' them thuhty-thuhty bullits whizzin' overhead thet kin mek yer need t' warsh yer drawers out.

If'n yer only kiddin' 'bout th' pitcher, jus' sen' ten or twelve gallons of gasoline. Sen' it inside th' tank of a 2004 full-size Dodge van, pleeze.

Yer fren' an' Santee, BWL