The following is apparently a parody of I'LL NEVER WALTZ AGAIN WITH YOU by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen—but I have been unable to find any lyrics, sound samples, or recording information about that song. I must admit I don't understand the last two verses of the parody. There seems to be a joke or two there that I don't get. Maybe it would help if I knew the original.

Transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 33.

I'LL NEVER WALTZ AGAIN
(As sung by Homer and Jethro)

I'll never waltz again with you,
'Specially when you're wearin' slacks.
If women have to wear the britches,
They should never turn their backs.

Oh, I used to waltz with you
When you were my little queen.
I was eight and you was nine,
And that just made us seventeen.

Here's how she does the hula dance:
Around her neck, she ties some hops.
She ties some hay around her waist.
Then she just rotates the crops.

I'll never waltz again with her,
'Cause she shimmies and she struts.
Ever'body calls her Hershey.
That's because she is half nuts.

(Instrumental break, featuring a guitar playing off-key)
(Spoken:)
--Hey, Jethro!
--Huh?
--Is he playin' what's written?
--No, Homer, he's playin' what's rotten.

The other night we went to town,
And then I took her to a fancy ball,
And as I waltzed her round and round,
I noticed that she kept a-getting tall.

As we tried to swing and sway,
Suddenly I hear'd her say:
"Dear, I've got a wooden leg.
You're turning me the wrong way."