There's a nice Black Country song called "Wife for Sale" that John Raven (of Wolverhampton) used to do, but I suspect it might not be appropriate for your purpose :-)

There's also a Black Country version of Cushie Butterfield, but that might not work either.

Dirty Old Town is Salford (Manchester), but it might do nicely for you. It is at least in part a love song.

Anglo (who probably needs to reset his cookie)