Disbelief, Sorrow, Anger, Guilt, etc. Feel them all. Work them through. And get on with living. Scream and cry when you need to, love. You can only hold it in for so long and it will prolong the agony.
Talk about it to friends and family. Some will tire of listening. Stick with the ones who don't. You are a beautiful, generous, loving woman. I was happy for you when you found the love you deserve. I am so sorry you didn't get to share it longer. But treasure it and don't allow your loss to make you bitter.
When you are ready, get away for a while. There is always a place for you and your family in Maine.
Mary