Santa,
I think there has been a bit of a misunderdstanding. I do not want your husband. That would be like sending me used shoes (one reason I despise bowling). I want a new one Well, not a buy toy but not with a divorce lawyer in tow either. And after the fiasco with Big Mick, this one has to a ring upfront!

So...rich, all his teeth, single, ring, over 46,knows to put the down,...the list is getting longer. I prefer banjo players. They are sexier, you know. And finally, put some airholes in the box. I don't want him to smell bad when he arrives.

Thank you, Santa
Mary, who has been a good little girl all year.