I've never lost any family suddenly. In every case it wasn't a surprise. Nana, aunts, Dad, were all forseen and I accept their passing after lives well lived. However, when my sister died after suffering horribly from cancer, not yet fifty years old, I had to accept a different kind of loss. I loved her deeply and I wish I could turn that into acceptance but it still brings about all those involuntary responses to grief we wish we could control. But...

It IS diminishing, slowly the hurt and sadness is passing, and slowly it is replaced with the love and appreciation I always had for her. The bad things are forced slowly out of my mind by the good things, which were many. The same will happen for you.

For me the operative words are slowly, love, and acceptance. They are working for me and I believe they will work for you too.Trouble is that grief is extremely impatient, the days passing more slowly than otherwise. I beat this by paying tribute with good works, volunteerism, and FAITH that we will meet again.

It is cliche to say that death is a part of life, and not at all comforting I know. But, one doesn't become fully wise until one has experienced grief brought on this way. It is a test of personal strength and endurance, and you will pass the test like every generation before you.

The first few weeks I fought back by defying rather than denying, by contributing rather than surrendering, comforting rather than demanding comfort. It was hard, but it worked. These things were therapy themselves.

Be good to yourself and remember there are others to draw strength from, like your friends here.

Peace, Mooh.