To: Mr Clay O. Possum

From: (SPAM) Society for Possum Adjustment and Morale

Re: Your own photo page

In order to ease your transition to stardom and prepare you for the inevitable embararassing questions you'll be asked when in Catspaw's company, we are prepared to offer you the following courses of study:

FART : Flatulence and Rectal Theory. As you know, this is an unfortunate obsession of 'spaw's, and since your little heine is the subject of much discussion, some formal training on this subject should keep you from getting snowed by the rest of the B.S. artists around here.

SNORT: Societal Norms of Rural Tennesee. If you learn to wipe your chin, stay housebroken, don't pick at yourself and incorporate at least three intelligible words in each sentence, maybe you can class up some of 'spaws friends.

BLOW: Backside Leeward of Wind: This training should make it second nature for you to keep your nose to the wind so that errant breezes don't blow up your sound hole, causing an embarrasing errant note. However, if this does happen, just do what Catspaw does, blame it on the nearest wife/animal/child/bodhran.

We hope these courses aid in your adjustment to society at large. We also offer BELCH, WADDLE and DROOL training at the post-graduate level.