IN KANSAS (Cray)

Oh, the eagles they fly high in Kansas, (2x)
Oh, the eagles they fly high,
And they shit right in your eye.
Thank the Lord that cows don't fly in Kansas.

There's a shortage of good whores in Kansas, (2x)
There's a shortage of good whores,
But there's keyholes in the doors,
And there's knotholes in the floors in Kansas.

Oh, they say to drink's a sin in Kansas, (2x)
Oh, they say to drink's a sin,
But they guzzle all they kin,
And the Drys are voted in in Kansas.

They drink their whiskey neat in Kansas, (2x0
They drink their whiskey neat
"Til it knocks them off their feet,
And it petrifies their meat in Kansas.

Oh, I chased a parson's daughter in Kansas, (2x)
Oh, I chased a parson's daughter,
And I banged her when I caught her,
Now I cannot pass my water in Kansas.

There's no paper in the bogs in Kansas, (2x)
There's no paper in the bogs,
They just sit there 'til it clogs,
Then they saw it off in logs in Kansas.

If you ever go to jail in Kansas, (2x)
If you ever go to jail,
And you need a piece of tail,
The sheriff's wife is for sale in Kansas.

Ed Cray, 1992, The Erotic Muse, pp. 50-51 with sheet music. Univ. Illinois Press. Cray suggests that "In Kansas" came before "In Mobile."