Allison, so much good advice above. Mickey 191 had a good point. Talk to us whenever you need to . We'll be here for you. When my daughter died 3 years ago I was just beginning to post here(as a guest). I shared my sorrow with this group and beleive me, you all helped more than you'll ever know. The human contact of knowing there are people who genuinely care,even people you may have never met, will soothe your soul. Someone gave me a "Pocket Angel"- alittle pewter medal with and angel on it. I have kept that in my pocket these 3 years. Whenever I think of Julia, I reach in my pocket and touch it. I'm very attached to it and it is comforting. It does get better, it really does. I can now think of her without my throat and chest tightening or automatic tears. I can think of her and smile and laugh at things she did. Hang in there. We're all here for you. James