Allison, of course you feel abandoned -- how perfectly understandable that is, especially when you have no choices to make (for now) that will make you feel less alone. For a while, you will see all sorts of issues in terms of being alone, even though you still have people in your life who matter, like your son.

If you don't mind me asking, are you driving a car? I didn't know until quite a lot later that I shouldn't have been driving when the shock and grief were new. I honestly don't know how I drove without an accident, because I couldn't focus at all, and didn't realize that I couldn't. So please be careful --

The hearts and minds of many people are with you; you are much less alone than you feel.