NOW, dammit, I object!

Calling in the local temperance group, that, that borders on cruelty of the most egregious sort! I've seen them work. They come with their little band of bagpipe, accordion, dobro, ukelele, and banjo, all tuned to different keys and even then each a half-step off in different directions, and they proceed to play a nice, bouncy, hymn in funereal beat. After this is over, a tambourine is produced and passed and the poor, defenseless, drunkard is bombarded, barraged! with a sermon telling him or her of the wickedness of drink! And as the poor person is already suffering from a hangover of more-than-monumental proportions, wondering why he or she had thought the muck lovely, knowing what awaits from his or her SO -- this is cruelty of unprecedented scope and viciousness! And to preceed this with E-Z listening music is, I believe, a violation of human rights not to the borne!

Oh, cruelty! Oh, the shame of it! Oh, the lack of humanity!