The Porch Drunk Extractor's Salvation Army Marching Song

We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band!
On the right side of temperance we now take our stand
We're bringing our banjo, our guitars and more
To excavate drunkards from by your front door!

Now you who are drunkards, pray listen to me
You won't like our sermons, our thick piety
Our music will fry you with dissonance unkind!
Get out from that porch now, if you value your mind!