WYSIWYG is correct -- I find that by posting to you in your loss, I am helping myself as well. Everyone is different: I found when I lost my daughter that there were times when I just had to be alone, to let the truth seep into me, without trying to manage it, or "get through" it for a little while. It was simply necessary to realize the truth, feel the despair, immerse myself in the pain of it.

Although I hope this doesn't happen to you, I want to let you know that you may lose some friends, perhaps only for a while. So many people are utterly inept at expressing themselves, or are so awkward about dealing with death, that they may avoid you as they simply don't know what to say or do. I had a lot of resentment about that fact for a while, but them remembered how I had treated people who had suffered a loss to death, and realized that until it happened to me, I had had no idea of how to deal with it either.

Please know that you are going through the worst part of the pain now, and that it will ease.