ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS MY UPPER PLATE
(As sung by Homer and Jethro)

All I want for Christmas is my upper plate.
I'm losin' weight without my plate.
I got my lowers but I need my upper plate,
So I can eat my Christmas turkey.

I left 'em in a glass o' water by my side.
When I awoke, I nearly died.
I hope the guy who took 'em will be satisfied,
'Cause I can't eat my Christmas turkey.

I used to eat corn on the cob
And little bitty pickled green tomaters,
But Christmas Day, all I can say
Is "Pass the mashed potaters."

Won't somebody tell me what I'm gonna do?
My poor old gums are black and blue.
The turkey's on the table but I just can't chew,
And this ain't a very merry Christmas.

Christmas candy shore is hard.
I can't even chew it just a little.
But my fav'rite one of all
Is good ol' peanut brutal.

[Spoken:]
--Homer, that's "brittle."
--Buddy, without my upper plate, it is "ba-rutal."

So if you got an extry set that's laid away,
I'll borrow them for Christmas day.
You can send 'em to me care of RCA,
And I will have a merry Christmas.