Well, a pal of mine from Papua New Guinnie assures me that he likely would be tender and taste good, as he eats well and would likely taste a little better than most ham.

Also, he is friendly ... remember when he waved to Stevie Wonder? (OK I know that is an urban legenend, but it shows what a friendly guy he is...)

His daughters know how to party hearty? Or put more positivly, he has not let his own reform away from drugs and alcohol ruin his daughters fun?

He has all his major body parts.

He is a beacon to stupid people everywhere that even YOU can become the most powerful man in the world.

He makes it possible for people in 48 states to feel superior to Texas AND Kennybunkport Maine all at the same go (49 as Mainers can look down just at that little part of Maine...)

His is not frightningly tall.

If he contacts Altzhimer's... no one will notice and therefore, we will not worry about him as we do for Mr. Regan...

His speaches are less hateful than Adolf Hitlers....

He makes underachivers feel triumphant

He does not hunt eliphants or net dolphins or eat gorillas (at least I don't believe he does...)

He did not ride with Jesse James.

Forensic evidence rules him out as Jack the Ripper

He is not a theater critic.

HE DOES NOT PLAY THE BODHRAN!
Good night
Larry