I, The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labour.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge, headfirst, into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends of, or Public Holidays.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I don't get paid overtime.
* I work in a dark workplace with poor ventilation.
* I work in high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

REPLY:

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

* You do not work 8 hours straight.
* You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas!
* You leave the workplace messy at the end of your shift.
* You don't always observe the necessary safety regulations. such as wearing the correct safety equipment!
* You retire well before the age of 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed your day's work.
* And if that were not all, you have been consistently entering and leaving this workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.