Useful responses for negative social interaction purposes.


1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

3. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

4. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

5. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

6. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

7. How about never? Is never good for you?

8. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

9. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

10. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

11. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

12. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

13. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

14. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of bad Karma to burn off.

15. Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.

16. No, my powers can only be used for good.

17. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

18. You sound reasonable... time to up my medication.

19. Are you a f...ing ray of sunshine every day?

20. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

21. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

22. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

24. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

25. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

26. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.