pdc, if you can find a copy of it, you might find this book to be of help: From My World to Yours by Jasper Swain. It's out of print. It's written by a very practical South African lawyer whose son and his friend were killed in a head-on collision. The son came back to basically dictate the book about what happened as he died, etc. It's fascinating and the father was such a skeptic, at first, that it took quite a bit to convince him to pay attention.

kat