An old music hall joke:

"I say, I say! My brother chews hammers in a circus."

"Is he a hammer-chewer?"

"No, he's a professional."


And another one:

A man goes into a pub, takes off his hat and puts it on the bar while he drinks his beer. The publicans dog jumps up, grabs the hat, jumps down again and starts chewing it up.

The man yells at the publican and tells him to rescue his hat from the dog, but the publican just waves his hand dismissively and says, "You shouldn't have put your hat on the bar in the first place."

The man says, "Look here, I don't like your attitude!"

The publican replies, "It wasn't my hat he chewed!"




A woodworm goes into a pub and says, "Is the bar tender here?"



[I refer to these as my "Groan Jokes"]

Helen