I've been so good this year that it's downright sickening! I've been to church every single day; I've foreborne from teaching "Bastard King of England" to the kids at storyhour; I've mostly kept my knowledge of How To Make Things Go BOOM! to myself, sharing it only with my nine-year-old nephew; I haven't cracked into either the CIA or the NSA databases; I haven't kicked any puppies or kitties; I've saved some money even; I've given up hard liquor, fast women, and low companions for hard companions, low women and fast liquor -- why, I haven't even sold any dirty pictures to preschoolers!
I haven't gotten a tattoo or had a hole bored into part of me, and I've even shaved most every day. And no matter how great the temptation I've resisted it, except when I didn't.
And I've even told the truth, up to a point.* Of course, to do this I've had to give up fishing and social intercourse in general. Realizing that my body is a temple and my soul is pure, I think that I can safely say that I have, in thought, word, and deed, been the epitome of good this year.