Dear Mr. Scheisskopf,

You state that "The US government currently has huge supplies of BS hidden in a cave outside of Tucumcari." Well, while it may be true that the US government thinks it has a huge stash of BS, I certainly wouldn't take the assertion at face value. It is highly likely that there are large amounts of Shinola mixed in with the BS. After all, nobody working for the US government knows shit from Shinola. By the same token, nobody working for the US government knows shit from good apple butter. So, it is quite possible that the cave is half full of apple butter.

Furthermore, having the US government get involved in BS storage is simply a waste of taxpayers' money. Why? Because the job is already being done by the contributors to this, the Mother of All BS Threads, at absolutely no cost to the taxpayer! And, make no mistake about it, we MOABites most emphatically are experts on BS. Our abilities to detect and spout BS are second to none. There's no way anyone could ever slip Shinola past our ultra-BS-sensitive noses.

So, I would suggest that you take a couple of MOABites into that cave in Tucumcari and let them sort the BS from the non-BS. You could then donate the apple butter to a food bank and shine a bunch of stuff with all that Shinola. We'll bring the BS back here to the MOAB where it belongs and the US government will be out of the BS storage business and can go back to wasting the taxpayers' money on other things.