Oh Captain Santa, my Captain Santa,
The fearful day draws nigh
When o'er the poles all lit by souls
Around the world you'll fly.
And bearing gifts to every soul,
In ways we can't conceive,
But somehow ending up next day
With 'most all gifts received!
Now there's a miracle in itself
A feat of awe, by thunder!
How does one fat guy pull it off?
It makes a body wonder!
But never mind -- the voice box now,
You know was just me, joking
In fact my voice box has improved
Because I gave up smoking!
So worry not, nor fret nor frown
Because you must be thrifty.
Just lay your two and six pence down
And bring me something nifty!!