I learned from a 6 tape lesson by Dave Van Ronk. The set is still avaiable fron Stefan Grossman's Guitar Workshop. The series is unique as DVR takes you through sting by string, fret by fret, finger by finger to teach about 15 of his songs. Many of the techniques are transferrable to other songs and genres.

Also, just practice creating fingerpicking rythms using simple chord progressions. Try to synchopate, alternate bass, etc. You will soon find that the muscles actually start to cooperate.

DW