I was travelling the other day when a tire blew out. Checking my spare, I found that it too was flat. My only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the next town.
   The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a van.
   He yelled out the window, "Need a lift?"
   "Yes, I sure do," I replied.
   "You a Republican?" asked the old man.
   "Democrat," I replied.
   "Well, you can just go to Hell, you pinko bleedin' heart!" yelled the old man as he sped off.
   Another guy stopped, rolled down the window, and asked me the same question.
   Again, I gave the same answer, "Democrat."
   The driver gave me the finger and drove off.
   I thought it over and decided that maybe I should change my strategy, since this area seemed to be overly political and strongly Republican.
   The next car to stop was a red SUV driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked if I was a Republican.
   "Sure am!" I shouted.
   "Hop in, then!" she said.
   Driving down the road, I couldn't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to me... the wind blowing through her hair, her perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continued to ride higher and higher up her thighs.
   So I yelled at her, "Please stop the vehicle!"
   She immediately slammed on the brakes and as soon as the SUV stopped, I jumped out.
   "What's the matter?" she asked.
   "I can't take it anymore," I replied. "I've only been a Republican for five minutes and already, I want to screw somebody!"