Hi. I am a moose from near Kirkland Lake, Ontario, eh? I range around between, like, Iroquois Falls and over to the Quebec line and south to Englehart and west to as far as South Porcupine. Once I did a midnight stroll through Matachewan, but there wasn't no one up as far as I could see, so it was a cakewalk, eh? I ain't seen any hunters yet this year, touch wood!

So, I am, like, really, really ticked that you would be so insensitive as to bring up this nasal polyp thing! You oughta know that most mature moose are greatly troubled by nasal polyps, and we don't like being reminded, eh? So, like, stop talkin' about it!

Do I get on the Net and talk about jock itch? No, I don't. You follow? Capiche? Have a little consideration, eh?