Transcribed from the sound file at http://www.megspace.com/entertainment/judya/comedy.html

MR. SANDMAN
(As sung by Homer & Jethro)

Mr. Sandman, take back your dream,
The biggest nightmare that I ever seen.
Crackers in bed, she eats like a rabbit,
And, Mr. Sandman, it's a crummy habit.
Red lips I like a lot,
One on the bottom and two on the top.
You gave her a purty face.
Not a wrinkle is out of its place.

Mr. Sandman, she is a scream.
The biggest nose-holes that I've ever seen
Her great big flat feet hurt her when it storms.
Her pigeon toes keep a-peckin' her corns.
Mr. Sandman, get out of here.
I'll take an aspirin and you'll disappear.
Can't you let me be?
I've got a guitar. Stop picking on me.