You bring up a good point, Amos - as a Roman Catholic, I belong to the church of the conquistadores, the Inquisition, the Crusades, and all sorts of other bloody episodes. I belong to the church of Pope Alexander VI, the father of Lucretia and Cesare Borgia. Those were Catholics who slaughtered each other in Rwanda a few years back, and Catholics in Croatia slaughtered Orthodox Serbs in World War II. I certainly can't say that Catholics in Ireland behaved themselves admirably at all times, either. It's also a church that has had abusive nuns and pedophile priests. My church has a sordid past, and I think I have to acknowledge it.

On the other hand, it's also a church where I've found a home for all of the 55 years of my life, where I've received a wonderful education and a very positive outlook on life, where I was supported by loving people in good times and bad. It's a church where I've worked 20 hours a week for most of my life. It's a church that operates most of the effective poverty and social service programs in my area.

It's a good church, and I'm proud to be a Catholic - but it is hard for me to reconcile my church's atrocities with the good I've found in it. Many people have suggested that I should leave the Catholic Church and join a church that doesn't have such a sordid past. I suppose I could, but the Catholic Church is home to me, and it has been a good home. The fact of the matter is that every organization has something sordid in its past (or its future), no matter how perfect it pretends to be. Perfect families have embarrassing relatives, even if they don't acknowledge them. Even atheists aren't perfect.

Yes, I see the politicians and the perverts in my church, and I guess I have to acknowledge that they are members of the church as much as I am - but that doesn't mean I have to abandon the church and cede control to them. I think it means that I'm obliged to do what I can to make my church do what it should be doing - and which it often does very well. I must acknowledge that there are many who have done awful things in the name of my church, but I must not give up and surrender control to them.

I think being a Catholic is similar to being an American. America has an idealistic, mythological foundation that most countries don't have and don't understand. We were the result of European conquest of the land of aboriginal people they destroyed, but we are also a nation born of poor, simple immigrants who came here only to seek freedom and survival. The churches have wonderful sacred writings like creeds and scriptures that serve as their founding documents, and Americans have the Declaration of Independence and Constitution and Bill of Rights - and those idealistic founding documents are often used by powerful people as rationalization for all sorts of atrocities. We have our saints - Washington and Jefferson and Lincoln and Roosevelt and Kennedy and Columbus - saints who had very human flaws that you don't see in their portraits and official biographies. We fought questionable wars in Mexico, in Cuba and the Philippines, in Vietnam, in Iraq, and in countless other countries. For most of the history of the United States, we have had presidents and legislatures I cannot respect. Despite our faults, we are a wonderful country, and we have done wonderful things. As a people, we believe in freedom and equality and justice and a good life for all the people of the world - even though our government and our industry do terrible things all over this world.

So how can I, in good conscience, be an American and a Catholic? Well, I'm a good guy, and I always try to do my best to be generous and fair to everyone - and I am just as much a Catholic as the Pope, and just as much an American as George Bush. I choose to have my own values and ideals define my existence as a Catholic and as an American. I believe in the founding ideals and myths of my church and my country, even though I honestly acknowledge their faults. I refuse to acknowledge that George Bush owns America any more than I do, or that John Paul II owns the Catholic Church any more than I do. They may be in charge, and I may have to tolerate them to some extent, but I contend that I and people like me are the heart of America and the heart of the Catholic Church.

So yeah, I'm a Catholic, and I'm an American - but that doesn't make me a bad person. As a Catholic and as an American, I have much to be ashamed of - but I also have much that I can be proud of. Certainly, however, I must have a huge amount of humility if I am a Catholic and an American. And yes, I can sing atheist songs, and I can sing Christian songs, and I can sing the songs of all those that believe in justice and generosity and love and peace. But I cannot sing the songs of hatred and prejudice and war and oppression.

-Joe Offer-